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I have been close companions for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she's constantly taken by surprise by others. Her husband walked away, and it was an unexpected event. Many of her friends disappeared then, because they seemed only interested in her husband. She was stunned by her. She made greater energy in our friendship, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, many of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't certain of the reason. The company she worked for became hostile, although she was very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each stepped back from work so we're spending frequent meetups, however, I feel my position in our friendship is as the audience. I open topics of conversation only for her to redirect them to her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. I try to suggest factchecking and alternate views.

She has been arranging a trip to a country I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. I tried to share personal experiences, however, my input met with resistance. She really only wanted me to confirm her plans. I've just ended a month in that country she hopes to meet, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the effect of how she acts on my self-esteem. At this point, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to end things abruptly, yet this is rarely the easy answer we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to working things out demands strength and readiness from both people.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step is to state how things go when you talk. It should be objective and clear and essentially what a recording device would replay. The second is to express how this leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement about this. Emotions are valid, naturally. The third step is to question ways you together going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Remember she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. An approach that works is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

This can be effective for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

She might reject your concerns, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative about themselves they won't let go of since their identity depends upon it and it represents they've known. It's tough as there is no clear path with these people, just dead ends. However, she might at first react this way before reflecting on your words. If you don't achieve a fix, it provides peace that you've been open and direct.